3 hadiths on friendship
and good company
The musk seller, friendship for Allah’s sake and a visit without material interest: three hadiths on the relationships we maintain.
If friends often mock someone who is absent, we may end up joining in. Other friends encourage us to keep a promise or learn something. The first hadith compares the effects of company to a scent we carry away with us.
Three hadiths illuminate different aspects of friendship: the effect of company, attachment for Allah’s sake and a visit made without expecting a benefit.
Article contents
The musk seller and the bellows-blower
The context of the narration
Abu Musa al-Ash‘ari reports a comparison by the Prophet ﷺ between good and bad company. The text describes what you may receive near a carrier of musk, then what may happen near a forge’s bellows.“Good and bad company are like the carrier of musk and the bellows-blower. The carrier of musk may give you some, you may buy some from him, or you may find a pleasant fragrance near him. The bellows-blower may burn your clothes, or you may find an unpleasant smell near him.”
Read the Arabic text
مَثَلُ الْجَلِيسِ الصَّالِحِ وَالسَّوْءِ كَحَامِلِ الْمِسْكِ وَنَافِخِ الْكِيرِ، فَحَامِلُ الْمِسْكِ إِمَّا أَنْ يُحْذِيَكَ، وَإِمَّا أَنْ تَبْتَاعَ مِنْهُ، وَإِمَّا أَنْ تَجِدَ مِنْهُ رِيحًا طَيِّبَةً، وَنَافِخُ الْكِيرِ إِمَّا أَنْ يُحْرِقَ ثِيَابَكَ، وَإِمَّا أَنْ تَجِدَ رِيحًا خَبِيثَةً
Understanding this hadith
We can enjoy the scent of musk without buying any. Likewise, we may pick up habits from friends without being asked to imitate them: listening without interrupting, for example, or mocking someone who is absent.
The comparison invites us to examine the behaviours passed on rather than assigning acquaintances permanent labels as “good” or “bad” people.
After spending time together, ask what drew you along: a useful conversation, mockery you ended up joining or encouragement to keep your word? If a group always turns to humiliation, you can refuse to feed the exchange and suggest another subject. Giving more time to relationships that support good does not require insulting those from whom you distance yourself.
Also read what speaking about someone absent means in backbiting.
Loving one another for Allah’s sake
The context of the narration
Abu Hurayrah reports that the Prophet ﷺ mentioned seven categories of people whom Allah will shelter in His shade on the Day when there is no shade but His. Among them are two people whose affection is grounded in Allah. The excerpt concerns this category.“Two men who love one another for Allah’s sake, meet for His sake and part for His sake.”
Read the Arabic text
وَرَجُلاَنِ تَحَابَّا فِي اللَّهِ اجْتَمَعَا عَلَيْهِ وَتَفَرَّقَا عَلَيْهِ
Understanding this hadith
These two people love one another for Allah: their affection does not depend on a gift, a favour or an advantage they hope to gain. The hadith mentions this intention both when they meet and when they part.
You can wish your friend well without gaining anything yourself: be pleased about a success that takes them away, encourage a worthwhile commitment, or point out a mistake respectfully.
Affection does not require constant availability. Two friends may have different schedules, responsibilities and periods of tiredness. Taking these constraints seriously helps avoid turning a delayed reply into an immediate accusation.
Visiting a friend without asking for anything
The context of the narration
Abu Hurayrah reports an account from the Prophet ﷺ: a man set out to visit a brother in another town. Allah placed an angel on his path. The angel asked where he was going and whether he had done the man a favour for which he hoped for a return. The visitor answered:“No, except that I love him for Allah’s sake, Mighty and Majestic.”
Read the Arabic text
لاَ غَيْرَ أَنِّي أَحْبَبْتُهُ فِي اللَّهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ
Understanding this hadith
The angel then tells the visitor that Allah loves him as he loved his brother for His sake. The man was not making the visit to recover a debt or ask for a favour.
Call your friend to ask how they are, suggest spending time together, or ask about a difficulty they told you about. You can do this without waiting until you need a favour.
A visit must still suit the person receiving it. Giving notice, accepting a refusal and choosing a suitable time belong to a respectful relationship; travelling a distance does not give the right to impose your presence. If your friend is exhausted, a short message may suit them better.
In practice
- Your group mocks someone absentDo not encourage the jokes; suggest a conversation that humiliates nobody.Understand the comparison with musk
- A friend asks for automatic approvalRespectfully say what concerns you rather than supporting a wrong to please them.Read the passage on friendship for Allah’s sake
- You have not been in touch for a whileContact your friend without a hidden request and ask what time would suit them.Read the account of the visit
Sources
- Sahih al-Bukhari · 5534The musk seller and the bellows-blower
- Sahih al-Bukhari · 660Loving one another for Allah’s sake
- Sahih Muslim · 2567aVisiting a friend without asking for anything