3 hadiths on good character
and gentleness
Welcoming with an open face, speaking without vulgarity and acting gently: three explained hadiths on good character.
We quickly notice how we are welcomed: an attentive answer, an irritated look, a belittling remark. Good character concerns these ordinary moments as much as great occasions. It appears with loved ones, within a team and with someone simply asking for directions.
The three hadiths presented here connect character with accessible actions. The first links a person’s quality with their manners; the second values an open welcome; the third shows what gentleness brings to an action. They allow us to examine how we treat others without waiting for an exceptional situation.
Article contents
The best in character
The context of the narration
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As describes the Prophet ﷺ as neither vulgar nor given to vulgarity. He then reports words the Prophet used to say:“Among the best of you are those with the best character.”
Read the Arabic text
إِنَّ مِنْ خِيَارِكُمْ أَحْسَنَكُمْ أَخْلاَقًا
Understanding this hadith
Abd Allah ibn Amr first describes the Prophet ﷺ as someone who did not use foul language. He then reports his words about those with the best character. The way we speak to others is therefore one aspect of the conduct described in this report.
Restraint in language can be practised in a specific situation. When someone makes a mistake at work or forgets a household task, you can explain what needs changing without insulting them. “This document is missing and we need it tomorrow” allows the problem to be addressed; “you are incompetent” attacks the person and leaves the whole problem intact.
The same effort matters when the other person can offer you nothing. Answering an employee properly, thanking the person who cleans a place or letting an explanation finish reveals behaviour sometimes reserved for those we want to impress. To review your day, an actual exchange is more instructive than a general judgement about yourself: what words did I use, and did they help or humiliate?
Not overlooking a welcoming face
The context of the narration
Abu Dharr al-Ghifari reports advice addressed to him personally by the Prophet ﷺ. He encourages him not to despise any form of good, then gives the example of a meeting:“Do not belittle any good, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.”
Read the Arabic text
لاَ تَحْقِرَنَّ مِنَ الْمَعْرُوفِ شَيْئًا وَلَوْ أَنْ تَلْقَى أَخَاكَ بِوَجْهٍ طَلْقٍ
Understanding this hadith
A welcoming face is presented as a good we might consider too small. It requires neither money nor a long speech. Someone entering a room may understand, even before speaking, whether they are welcome or a nuisance.
In an established group, this gesture is particularly useful. You can look at the newcomer, return their greeting and show them where to sit. Sometimes a welcome seems cold simply because everyone continues their usual conversation. Making room for someone avoids leaving them to earn the right to participate alone.
This consideration is not a demand that a sad or exhausted person smile at any cost. The advice addresses someone who can offer a welcome, not those wanting to demand a cheerful expression from others. You can answer calmly without feigning enthusiasm. In a difficult moment, a simple phrase such as “I am listening” can make your availability clear.
Gentleness beautifies what it accompanies
The context of the narration
‘Aishah, wife of the Prophet ﷺ, transmits this saying about rifq, gentleness in how we act and treat others:“Gentleness is not present in a thing without beautifying it, and is not removed from a thing without making it ugly.”
Read the Arabic text
إِنَّ الرِّفْقَ لاَ يَكُونُ فِي شَىْءٍ إِلاَّ زَانَهُ وَلاَ يُنْزَعُ مِنْ شَىْءٍ إِلاَّ شَانَهُ
Understanding this hadith
A request may be right yet become burdensome through how it is expressed. The hadith draws attention to that manner: tone, words and consideration for the recipient are part of the action.
If you explain a procedure to someone unfamiliar with it, go slowly enough for them to follow. Repeating a step without sighing may prevent them from giving up on asking the question they need. In a charity, you can give an instruction by demonstrating the action instead of reproaching a new volunteer for not guessing it.
Gentleness also allows a clear refusal. Saying “I cannot take on this task this week” is more respectful than leaving someone hopeful and then responding irritably to reminders. You can maintain your decision without ridiculing the request. This quality does not erase what needs to be said; it helps make it heard without adding needless hurt.
Also read the precise instruction given to a child during a meal.
In practice
- You need to correct a mistakeDescribe the fact and the correction expected; remove judgements about the person’s worth.Read the saying on character
- Someone joins your groupReturn their greeting and show them a place instead of continuing your conversation without looking at them.Read the advice to Abu Dharr
- An explanation needs repeatingRevisit the troublesome step while letting the other person finish their question.Read the hadith on gentleness
- You need to decline a favourAnswer clearly and courteously, without a false promise or humiliating remark.Understand gentleness
Sources
- Sahih al-Bukhari · 3559The best in character
- Sahih Muslim · 2626Not overlooking a welcoming face
- Sahih Muslim · 2594aGentleness beautifies what it accompanies